A TRAVELLER’S GUIDE TO HELL
by various authors
Preface by the editor, Ronaldo the White Mage
When my benefactor, who has requested not to be named, asked me to write a travelogue of the Demon Realm, I was at once flattered and intimidated. Indeed, for a master of the arcane such as myself, there could be no more logical choice – and yet how is a mortal man to map the sweeping grandeur of Hell’s vast surface?
As the truest of sorcery lies in the commingling of Magics, so it would have to be that such a priceless grimoire be assembled by the finest minds and most well-travelled personages to be found in Pandemonium. While one cannot know everything of this vast plane, and indeed attempting to do so is guaranteed to offend some among the Nobility, it is my sincere belief that this document will be sufficient to apprise the reader of what to expect should they find themselves free and living in the Eternal.
Herein you will find; guides to Hell’s finest cities penned by renowned gourmand Brenal the Tumescent; a useful glossary of religious orders and martial philosophies from the hand of Taina Onestrike; political insights offered by noted journalist and wanted fugitive Eight-Eyed Salaam; reviews of the best public houses in the Ur-City; and of course, a humble treatise on the ecologies of the Demon Realm painstakingly assembled by yours truly.
Take heart, dear reader, for though the wonders of the Eternal might seem frightening now, with this book in hand you will soon learn to find – and love – your place in the Infernal Hierarchy.
I wish you safe travels and the Trickster’s own luck,
Professor Ronaldo the White, B.Th, Archmage, Dean of Malevolent Geography, University of Spinward Doldrum (GO COELACANTHS)
Concept Eating Swarm Entity 